From my summary of the narrative, I constructed a rough storyboard which was shot in dragon-frame to produce this animatic. This allowed me to see some places where the shots could be refined, and where unnecessary things could be cut out. Unfortunately, my lines aren't very legible.
Below is a second animatic, my amendments to the first have produced a tighter narrative and the sequence of shots communicates what I want to say far better. I've been able to get a better feel for the timing here too and it reads better.
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